Proverbs 21: 9 says, better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 says, better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome nagging wife.
Ladies there will be times in our marriage when we will be like the Proverbs 21 Woman. Let us look at her traits, shall we?
- She complains.
- She is argumentative.
- She is a woman not fun to live with.
- She feels stuck.
- She does not communicate well.
- She deals with conflict the wrong way.
When we read the chapter there was these two verses that talked about the wife. We can make our own list of how unpleasant it would be to live with or be her. As wives it is so easy for us to be so much like this woman. Often, we do not know to express our feelings so what do we do? We do what we assume is correct to get our point across. It is called the defensive mechanism.
During our time of expression, we are not given any thought of how this might sound to our husband or the rest of the people who live in our house. We do not handle conflict well that is why we make the wrong choices in our communication which makes us at times feel like we are stuck. And what does a baby bird do when it is stuck? It will sit there and cry until momma bird comes to set us free. In our case if we are not crying, we are complaining.
Think about its ladies, no one wants to be in a house with someone who is constantly nagging, complaining, and just impossible to talk to. But ladies hold on, there is hope for us. One of the things we must do is be hundred percent real with ourselves. We must ask those questions about our attitudes. We must get them in order.
Before I got married, I promised myself that I would never be a nagging wife. When I got married, I kept that promise, but something changed within me. About two years ago my husband said, “baby you have got to stop nagging me.” Whew! I expressed discomfort because I had no idea that I have been nagging him. Ladies, the moment my husband said those words it was like I came to a complete halt. He got my attention.
All day that day I just could not stop thinking about how I was a nag. I did not tell my husband, but I was so upset with myself because I made that promise. I thought about how unhappy I was making my husband with my attitude. I thought about if the role were verse how I would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. I did not want to be like those other women who just nag, nag, and nag. I was going to be better then that.
You might ask what I did next? So, glad you asked. I had to repent to God first for being a nagging wife. And asked Him to forgive me. After I repented, I had a one on one conversation with the Lord and asked Him “where did this stem from? Was this behavior already deep within? Surely, I just did not pick it up overnight.
When my talk with God was over, I went to my husband and asked him to forgive me. I also asked him to forgive me for not respecting his feelings.
Ladies, God showed me that my nagging stems from me being a perfectionist. I already knew since a young teenager that I was a perfectionist. See, to me I had no idea that by me being a perfectionist was causing me to nag in the home. I can honestly say that hubby no longer says I am a nag. I have learned to ask hubby one time verses the keep reminding thing.
Of course, I have moments that I slip and when I do, he says “baby I remember,” which is my clue not to nag he has not forgotten. I do thank my husband for letting me know that I have been a nag. Had he did not, I would still be nagging to this day.
God shows us in His words about right and wrong and we can either receive it or not receive it. Same with the husband and wife, you are a team. When we get married ladies, we become one flesh, it is no longer about I it is about us as husband and wife. AMEN!